Dec 1, 2006
It has been said that the recovery of a thankful heart is the key to many of our ills. In other words, much of our unhappiness is caused by our focus on what is wrong or not good enough or not fair. Many of us seem to have a special knack for noticing what is missing, falling short, bad, etc., while sometimes being oblivious to what is good and beautiful in our lives and the ways in which we have been fortunate or “blessed.” It’s the old “half empty v. half full” story.
In a recent study, it was found that if we took a few moments just before going to be and recounted three good things that happened in our day, and reflected on what contributed to those events/experiences, we could experience a greater sense of well-being, more pleasant dreams, and more restful sleep.
Clearly, increasing our ability to recognize the good, those eruptions of the Divine if you will, that are all around us, also increases the quality of our lives. Some have described this focus on the good as living in an “attitude of gratitude.” This attitude of gratitude, this regular focus or ritualizing of acknowledgement of the good in our lives has many benefits from better sleep to greater resiliency in difficult times.
Case in point.
Just before Thanksgiving, I asked a group of homeless young adults to write an essay on the importance of having an Attitude of Gratitude. These young people come from a variety of difficult, often harsh, environments. Their lives have often been painful and even traumatic.
While all the responses were a testimony to the resilience of the human spirit, one response in particular, written by a young women who was staying in a crowded shelter along with her mother and sister, focused on the small things that made her happy – things that most of us take for granted like a hot shower, a clean bathroom, laundry facilities, a bed (although one of many in a huge dormitory room) and, most of all, “not having to be separated from my family.” More than that, the writer repeatedly stated how happy she was and how “blessed.” She also prayed for “the really poor people in the world who were in the middle of war, the starving children, and the people suffering from AIDS.”
In the midst of her own need, she prayed for those in greater need – clearly the benefit of an attitude of gratitude. And while she never specifically articulated the benefits of this attitude, she nonetheless demonstrated her awareness of them through the content of her short, yet poignant essay.
I am, in turn, deeply grateful for and humbled by her example.
I’d like to end this brief reflection by quoting a Prayer of Thanksgiving given by The Very Reverend Alan Jones – Dean at this year’s Thanksgiving Day service at Grace Episcopal Cathedral in San Francisco, California.
“The world is one, the world is one family, the world is in labor. Our planet is convulsed, groaning with pain and promise, many have ceased to matter, and, living without hope, find their anger and despair turned into hatred and violence. Greed and revenge have become the corroding currency of the world - the deadly commerce of those whose mentality is a fortress - neglecting our children and laying waste to our planet. We pray for those who suffer and are in danger in the Sudan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel, Palestine, and in these United States – especially the children, especially the children.
And we thank you for those powerful witnesses who show us another way, a way of solidarity with all creation, a way of peace and justice. And so we thank you for large and generous souls who guard the heart of the world. They teach us that each of us can make a difference. The choice is always ours. And they call us out of the fortress into the banquet of life where we are both hosts and guests, welcoming all creatures to the great table where no one is turned away and there is enough for all. And we commend into your gracious keeping the great army of the dead and acknowledge our solidarity with them – our friends, our enemies, and the great congregation of the unknown and unloved, those unmourned and unlamented. We are one. We are your children. For their sake, help us to choose, help us to act, help us to be, help us to give thanks. Amen”
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